The clock ticks in the dark room, and I stare at the ceiling, thinking of you.
Nothing feels special anymore.
Until suddenly, a familiar voice echoes in my mind after a long pause:
“Han Dani, kiya haal hai?”
And the conversation begins again.
You keep asking, “Aur sona, theek ho?”
As if making sure I’m not hiding anything.
I feel irritated. How can I get over this repetition of sentences and be sometimes ignored with silence? Sometimes I don’t know with the same replies!!!!
It’s been four years now…
Since you’ve been gone, I feel alone in this world.
There’s a space inside me only you can fill.
It feels like I’m flying with wings that I don’t have.
Any abrupt wind can bring me down.
That night, I watched the screen flashing your heartbeat and pulse rate.
The room was still. My breath felt heavy.
I was there by your side and looking at you.
And I asked myself:
“What have you done? What have you earned?”
You were the charming one, a parent’s loved child.
Among five brothers,
A son who had dreams… and the will to chase them.
Then hardships – life took you like a ship in the storm to the world far from me and us. And that’s where I lost you…
You were always far from me in life. I don’t know if you know me. I know you as a stranger. We seem to be strangers to each other.
But our connection was strong.
Unseen, yet unbreakable.
I remember those still looks and eye shines so much to say and explain. Since you’ve gone, I wonder who you really were.
Your likes, dislikes… Your thoughts stay silent.
Now, when I look at my son,
I see myself.
And in that reflection, I see you sometimes.
The laughter, the struggles, the charisma.
But after your death, I saw something else:
People came to me with tears in their eyes.
They said you were the person they count on.
The one who stood behind everyone, quietly strong.
They told me you were the best.
Was that really you?
I don’t know everything.
You are still the biggest mystery, the untold story I wish I read, word by word, tear by tear.
A book left open, but never finished.
I don’t know all of you…
But I carry all of you in me.
I want to be the best.
For you.
And for my son.
Servceli | Strategy. Identity. Growth. 